magiceldridge’s avatarmagiceldridge’s Twitter Archive—№ 2,921

                                                                                        1. Since I've never actually watched it before, I'm going to live tweet the Star Wars Holiday Special. I've heard it's truly terrible so I may not make it through. A Thread 🧵
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                                                                                        Wow, even the opening scroll is insane, it's just unanswered question,.and teasing that a golden girl argues with greedo?!
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                                                                                      Each sentence had at least 3 exclamation points . . .
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                                                                                    For some reason they couldn't use the actual millennium falcon set?
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                                                                                  . . . they stopped in the middle of a fire fight for Chewie to give Han a hug.
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                                                                                The second scene is all about Chewie's family but you know how they don't subtitle Chewie in English? They're also not subtitling the wookie-only scene and it is *long*
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                                                                              This is like the first 30 minutes of Wall-E except not adorable
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                                                                            A galaxy far far away is clearly what gave us 70s interior design
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                                                                          The baby Wookie is now watching a hologram of gymnasts backed by music that sounds like someone continually falling onto a $7 Casio keyboard.
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                                                                        I don't know if it's the dye job or what but I'm not 100% convinced this is actually Mark Hamill
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                                                                      The way Luke is delivering these lines it's like he's trying to seduce Chewie's wife
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                                                                    Looks like they couldn't get a hold of the actual Darth Vader suit for this scene
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                                                                  A wookie in an apron is watching an alien Julia Child and following along
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                                                                The TV chef has 4 hands that's clearly just someone behind them like it's that Whose Line cooking game
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                                                              On the upside I now know how to pronounce the Wookie planet of Kashyyyk
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                                                            So much Wookie-speak. It's like they didn't even bother making a script and just improvd the few English lines
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                                                          *Another* gymnast hologram sequence
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                                                        . . . now Chewie's dad is watching something that I'm like 80% sure is Wookie porn
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                                                      It hasn't been an hour and they're on their third hologram performance
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                                                    And for no apparent reason this hologram is Jefferson Starship
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                                                  They're doing another English scene (finally!) and the dialog quality is *slightly* above Attack of the Clones
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                                                They've now switched to an animated segment for no apparent reason
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                                              I feel like I'm watching GI Joe
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                                            Hey they're introducing this new Boba Fett character! I hope he doesn't do much, seems to die, and then gets his own TV show 40 years later
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                                          They're searching for a talisman that makes things invisible because apparently the One Ring is around somewhere
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                                        "Hey you can draw Harrison Ford's face right?" "Uh sure"
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                                      I'm still not sure why this whole segment is animated and how the baby Wookie is watching it
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                                    I think the script writers just forgot about Chewie's dad for a while. almost everything is in this one house where they all are and I haven't seen him for like 30 minutes
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                                  . . . Baby Wookie is assembling a thing from an instruction video. Nothing is happening other than the instructor giving assembly instructions and the Wookie following along and they're showing all. of. it.
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                                It's amazing. Each scene has as close to zero connection to the previous one as possible.
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                              I never really saw Golden Girls so just fill in your own reference here
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                            Don't worry, he drinks through his head
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                          . . . Bea Arthur is doing a musical number now
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                        Offered without comment:
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                      ngl this song kind of slaps
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                    Han Solo just tripped a stormtrooper to death
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                  1970s Harrison Ford's hair was fantastic
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                The wookies are crying but I'm not sure why because they *still* aren't subtitling or having anyone translate.
            1. …in reply to @magiceldridge
              uhhh the wookies picked up snow globes, held them up, and were suddenly wearing red robes and transported so they're now walking into the sun?
              oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
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            C-3PO was already in the sun?
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          They're lowkey addressing Droid sapience in a throwaway line
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        Were you worried they were only going to have 1 musical number? Fear not!
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      Leia looks like she wants Chewbacca. I ship it
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  1. …in reply to @magiceldridge
    "We've gotta fill like 3 more minutes!" "Ehhhh just throw a blue filter on top of some footage from A New Hope"
    oh my god twitter doesn’t include alt text from images in their API
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      Aaaand we're back from the sun with no explanation, but lost the humans
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        And that's all folks
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        1. …in reply to @magiceldridge
          All in all I think the only the that the Mandalorian can learn from this is get a Golden Girl to do a musical number. Give Betty White a call